


Little Nightmares || P.CY

by in_pariswithlove



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Hope, Love, Mental Health Issues, Mentioned BLACKPINK, Oneshot, Rose - Freeform, gender neutral reader, park chaeyoung - Freeform, uplifting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:20:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29307165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/in_pariswithlove/pseuds/in_pariswithlove
Summary: In which Y/N is restless after having another recurring nightmare and Roseanne is there to share her warmth.©️in_pariswithlove 2021~Rosé x (gender-neutral) ReaderThis is just a one-shot I wrote after hearing news of Rosé's long-awaited solo debut. It's serious, got lots of angst (I'm a sucker for that), but ends off on a good note. More details inside...
Relationships: Park Chaeyoung | Rosé/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	1. Author’s Note

**Author's Note:**

> https://youtu.be/LGkUW5cUPz8
> 
> Rosie’s teaser solo :)

If you're reading this, chances are that you're a total Fansé or a Blink with a little extra bias for Rosé. Don't worry, I am too.

We've all heard the news of Rosie's future solo debut and now that the first teaser is out...

I'm still having trouble processing that it's actually here, and that I'll be seeing her perform it in just a couple days.

INSANE.

In the midst of the chaos on social media's and YouTube, I decided to write this while streaming the teaser because it was all that I could think about the entire day.

To me, Rosé has always been a voice of hope. A safe feeling that's been there on the nights I can't sleep and on the days where I can't be bothered to get out of bed. I listen to her sing and it warms my heart, puts a smile to my face, and sometimes makes me want to cry; it's that beautiful and full of life. When I heard her sing for the first time, I was amazed and thought about how this was a voice I wanted to hear for the rest of my life. Rosé has been a source of both happiness and strength for me in my dark times and I couldn't be more grateful for her existence.

So, I decided to expand on that idea of my 'dark times' and write about it. What you are about to read is, of course, a dramatization of it in a way different context that I made up, but if you read between the lines... the message is the same.

~

In this original one-shot, Rosé is the reader's girlfriend. Both male and female readers are welcome. It has angst and talks about heavy subjects but is generally appropriate for most audiences. I also completely made it up; any connection to any experiences of real-life people or figures are purely out of coincidence. I did not reference any real life person(s) while writing this, I merely used my own imagination.

Also, _plagiarism is a crime_. This is my work, my property, and therefore requires my permission for use.

***Disclaimer (Please Read) :** To expand on the 'heavy subjects' aspect, I want to give you a clear heads up before choosing to read. This one-shot will touch on sensitive topics that have to do with mental health & illness like depression, ptsd, and by extent, suicidal thoughts and attempt. While I’ve tried to make the most sensitive part (suicide) as generally broad/light as possible, the subject of suicide itself is and never will be _light._ With that being said, if you do choose to read, I hope you stick around until the end because the one-shot really does end off on an emotional/happy/hopeful note. If you’re reading this one-shot, I hope you take the words in it to heart and live your life to its fullest, knowing that you’re not alone. You’re a human being and therefore are _always_ worthy of joy and love, even when it feels like you don’t have any for yourself.

Thank you, and, I hope you enjoy :)

~ Paris


	2. Little Nightmares

Roseanne stirs at the sound of someone's whimpers. Her eyes flutter open and she rubs them while turning over to the direction of the noise. In the dark, she can just make out your figure under the shared blanket. You're restless, body curled inwards and shoulders shaking from the tears racking you over. Roseanne narrows her eyes. With a sigh, she flips over to move closer to you. She rests her arm over your body and kisses your cheek. Your back nuzzles against her chest. Under the constraints of sleep, your body visibly relaxes and you slowly stop letting out the small noises.

Roseanne's eyes tear up for what seems like the millionth time now. In the past week, at least a few times per night has she had to calm you from your recurring nightmares. It broke her heart to see you like this. Sometimes you'd wake up petrified, other times you'd be crying, and although it was only once — you woke up screaming and thrashing around. During that episode, Roseanne had to reassure you at least five times that she wasn't going to kill you; she was your girlfriend and loved you very much. The nightmare felt so fresh in your mind, so real and raw that you could almost feel the pain. Those bloody knuckles that gave endless bruises, sharpened blades piercing skin for your blood, searing heat that licked burns across your bare skin, and the endless blood-curdling screams. It took a couple tries and some time, but eventually, Roseanne's soothing voice calmed the storm. That, and some pills for your anxiety.

When news that Rosé from Blackpink's partner was missing got out, the media blew up into a frenzy. Everyone knew that Y/N was a well known journalist. About once or twice a year would the young journalist go on a business trip to another country in the world for an extended period of time. You loved your job. The thrill of seeing new places and meeting new people always kept you excited, hungry for more action and to write new stories. Your previous trip, however, went horribly wrong.

You knew the trip was a dangerous idea from the start. Travelling to a war-torn country to get footage and stories of the revolution; the citizens were angry and wanted to overthrow their government, especially the totalitarian leader that ruled. There were talks of the leader's army taking in prisoners for torture and hostage, but you needed to know the truth. Roseanne begged you not to go. She even got angry with you and refused to speak with you for days. On the final day, when it was finally time for you to leave was when she broke down and ran to hold you tight, begging you to be careful.

It was only a couple days into the trip that you had been captured by secret agents of the government. Apparently, you were in there for two and a half weeks or so you had been told, but it was enough to drive you nearly insane. During the whole time, they locked you in a dark cell and only let you see the light when a guard would walk in and out by opening the heavy door. Unspeakable horrors were within those dark pungent hallways. The endless screams of torture has still stuck with you. Even now, you sometimes hear them and then grip whatever is closest by to stabilize yourself. It takes a good session of controlled breathing patterns and Roseanne's reassuring words to remind you of where you actually are. That you're safe and not within that hell-hole anymore.

It is in the early hours of morning that Roseanne stirs again upon hearing your mumbling. You're restless as you flip from one position to another, sweat begins to build on your forehead. Roseanne places a palm over your chest and feels your racing heart. She closes her eyes again, secretly hoping that whatever nightmare has plagued your senses tonight will go away on its own. However, it doesn't, and only gets worse as you begin thrashing around in your sleep. Roseanne's arm gets whacked away. She decides to wake you, "Y/N? Babe, wake up." Roseanne calls your name multiple times while tapping on you, each time a bit louder than the previous, until your breath finally catches while opening your eyes.

Confusion settles; your eyes widen and then narrow. "No! No-no please!" You yell and move to back away. Roseanne sighs and turns on the lamp by her side of the bed. She crawls back to sit on her ankles in front of you, taking your trembling hands within hers.

"Y/N, it's me, your girlfriend. You know my name, right?" You shake your head and clamp your eyes shut. Roseanne continues, "I'm your girlfriend, Y/N. I love you very much and you're safe here with me. Now, what is my name?"

When you still have trouble with answering, Roseanne pushes again. "My love... it's me. What is my name?" You will yourself to focus on this one simple yet difficult task.

"Rosie... Roseanne. Y-Your name is Roseanne."

"Good. What's my full name?"

"Roseanne... Roseanne Park."

"That's correct. Now, what's your name?"

"Y/N, Y/L/N."

"How old are you?"

The questions became sort of a ritual for the two of you by this point. Bring the person back to the present reality by asking them simple questions and move to the more complicated ones after. Ask them things they can touch, see, hear, and in some cases — smell. Roseanne places the palm of her hand on your chest again. She feels the pacing heartbeat calm a little.

"I-I'm sorry," you say. It was because of you that her own sleep schedule was messed with lately. Roseanne shakes her head, then leans to kiss your forehead.

"It's okay,' she assures. 'Let's just go back to sleep."

"I can't..." you look down at your intertwined hands.

"Why not?"

"Because, every time I go to sleep I just wake up from another nightmare. My sleep schedule is so screwed I don't know why I even bother."

"You have to sleep at some point, babe. Do you want me to get your sleeping pills?" Roseanne asks.

"No. No-I... I don't want them. They don't help. They just make it harder for me to wake from the nightmares." You pull away from her grasp and sit on the edge of the bed before deciding to get up.

"Where are you going? It's like 5am."

"I don't know, I'll... get a glass of water. I just need to move around a bit." You avoid her eyes and walk out the door. Guilt and self-hatred is nothing in comparison to what you currently feel. You've ruined your relationship with Roseanne; she no longer is your girlfriend but rather like a caretaker or a nurse. At least a few times per night do you wake her like this and ruin the sleep that she badly needs for work. It's not like she wakes you out of love, it's so that she can finally sleep herself.

You hate the burden that you've become. If you had just listened to her, if you didn't let your hopeful ambitions run wild, you wouldn't have been in this situation. Your mental state would be normal, your relationship with Roseanne would be normal, hell, your whole damn life would be normal... but no. You just had to go for the sake of your own selfishness without even properly considering how your loved ones would feel, especially how Roseanne was feeling. She was against the whole idea from the start and was even angry with you for awhile before you left.

You think about all this as you now stand in the kitchen. Your hands slightly tremble while pouring cold water from a jug into a glass cup.

What a burden you've been. Roseanne doesn't mention it much, but those few weeks knowing that her partner was trapped somewhere out of reach must have been emotionally exhausting. You could see it in the dark circles under her eyes and the lines on her face when she would take off her make up. No amount of spa-treatments, facials, or face-masks in the world could take away what truly needed a good nights rest. Even fans online could see it in Roseanne when she did promotions and appeared on T.V. They expressed their concerns in the comments and trended hashtags through social media. Roseanne needed a break, some time off to rest and take care of her health. You sigh deeply; it was all because of you. Maybe it would have been better if you hadn't met Roseanne at all...

Someone presses their cheek to your back from behind. They wrap their arms around your waist and hold you in a warm embrace. After a few moments, her silky voice breaks through the blockade in your mind. "Whatever it is you're thinking about Y/N... you're wrong. None of this is your fault." You shake your head and close your eyes. A lump forms in your throat.

"It is...' your voice is just barely audible. 'It's all my fault. If I had just listened to you—"

"Don't speak like that. This career was your dream, it was unfair of me to hold you back from pursuing it. Was it dangerous this time around? Of course, but you knew too and went for it anyway." She replies. Maybe that was supposed to make you feel better, but you just sigh.

"But it was because of that selfishness that I didn't realize how much of an idiot I am. I ruined everything, Rosie. You can't even act like my girlfriend anymore — you're my freaking babysitter. You even had to take time off from work for me! Those articles online and all that unwanted attention..." Roseanne tightens her hold around your waist.

"You read the comments, didn't you?" She quietly asks. When you don't answer, she releases a small sigh because her suspicions are confirmed. "Babe... let go of the counter." Roseanne uses her thumb to rub circles on the back of your right hand before slowly prying your fingers from its grip on the edge of the kitchen counter. She proceeds to do the same for your left hand, then pulls on you so that you face her. Reluctantly, you turn and let your gaze linger on your bare feet. "Look at me," Roseanne says. The tears in your eyes threaten to burst like a dam as you slowly meet hers. They're soft and wistful, watching you with such concern that you know you don't deserve.

"I-I...' your voice shakes uncontrollably. 'I don't deserve... this. The way you're looking at me, the way you take care of me... I don't—" you get cut off by the feel of her soft lips pressed against yours. Her hands cup your cheeks as the two of you get caught up in a gentle yet soon turned passionate kiss.

"You deserve every second of it," Roseanne mumbles against your lips. You try to pull away but she kisses you again, this time more forcefully. "You've been there for me,' she breathily says in between your kisses, 'in more ways than I count... and now, for once... you're the one that needs me. Please,' Roseanne rests her forehead against yours. 'Let me take care of you, Y/N." The touch of her skin is silky smooth and her scent is so intoxicating. You want to give in to her request, but it still doesn't feel right. Undeserving is what you are.

"But if I had just listened—" she interrupts again, but this time with her firm words.

"I'm not going to lie. You should have listened, Y/N. God... you really should have taken me seriously. But all of that's in the past now. I wasn't thinking about that at all when I heard news of you being kidnapped."

"W-What were you thinking about?" You ask while sniffling your nose a bit.

"I just wanted you home,' Roseanne breathily states. Her eyes are red-rimmed from crying. 'To be safe here with me. I didn't care about anything else. Y/N, I couldn't even breathe for a second without thinking of you. And if somehow, you believe that I was still angry at you or holding some kind of grudge, you're dead wrong. The only thing I focused on was getting you home. That's all that mattered to me." The vibrations of her words lodge themselves deep within the cracks of your heart. You burst into tears as you hug her tight.

"I-I'm... sorry... I'm s-so sorry." You struggle for air while sobbing into her shoulder. Roseanne rubs your back and smoothens your hair, she's not letting go until you do. You allow yourself to melt into her being. Her presence feels stable and grounded, like a fully grown tree in a heavy storm. She feels safe as a sanctuary for your broken body.

"I know,' Roseanne says. 'I know, my love.... but I forgive you. There's not a single drop of bitterness in my heart, it's only filled from the bottom to the top with love. Please understand this. Stop blaming yourself for things that are far out of your control."

A few more minutes pass by as Roseanne holds your trembling figure. You sniffle and sigh while she grabs hold of the tissue box nearby and gives them to you for use, then she makes you drink a couple sips of water for your throat. When you finish, Roseanne takes your hand and leads you back to the bedroom. "Come on,' she says. 'We need to apply your medicine anyway."

As the two of you walk, you notice that Hank was watching the whole scene. You smile at the little pup and bend down to pet his head. "Enjoyed the show, huh?" You ask Hank. He just wags his tail and moves towards Roseanne who chuckles. If there's one thing you're truly grateful for, it's that Hank was here for Roseanne through it all. People often underestimate how much of a positive factor pets can be for one's mental health. The way they provide companionship, loyalty, and unconditional love.

The three of you make your way back to the bedroom. Hank jumps onto the bed while you and Roseanne enter your shared bathroom. She rummages through the cabinet above the sink for medicine and fresh bandage as you slowly take off your shirt. A few weeks have passed since you got back so your wounds have slowly been healing, but it's an arduous process. You grimace from the pain as you pull your shirt overhead and Roseanne comes to help.

It's hard to even look at yourself in the mirror. White bandage covers most of the burns and cuts but it's the healing scars that are the most hideous. Among the deep bruises that are scattered in various areas, some are sickly green in colour while others are yellowish and brown. However, the frown on your face fades when you turn to see Roseanne's loving gaze. You stay still as she cleans, applies the ointments and creams, and redresses the bandages. Roseanne's eyebrows furrow when she checks the bruise on your jaw. "You sure this doesn't need ice?' She asks. 'It's barely healing." You shake your head; reluctant to explain that this was where you had been punched the hardest multiple times over. "Well,' Roseanne continues. 'If I don't see any changes by the end of this week we're going to get it checked."

Your gaze falls to the floor again as she works. Memories flash through your mind of what happened the last time you went to the doctor. Somehow, word got out that Rosé and her partner would be getting a check up at a certain clinic. Fans and paparazzi were obviously not let inside but a crowd of them formed outside. All you could do was look down and follow close behind Rosé and her manager to his car as the crowd became rowdy. That's where all the pictures and articles came from, as well as the comments. The judgement was high; some people really do not like you, but it doesn't matter when you agree with them anyway.

Roseanne lifts your chin with delicate fingers. "Are you sleepy?" She asks.

"No, why?"

"I just called your name a few times and you didn't respond."

"Oh...' you mutter and look down. 'Sorry." Roseanne studies your face for a few seconds and then sighs.

"Babe...' she lifts your chin to face her again and gives your lips a small peck. 'I know that a lot has happened lately, but that is no excuse to start distancing from each other. We used to be on the same page all the time but now... I can barely get a sentence out of you." There's a heavy feeling in your chest after hearing her words. Your eyes begin to water again, but you glance up to air them out.

"I-I know and I'm sorry. I just... I have so many thoughts inside my head. A lot of them aren't very nice."

"You have an outlet for them right here.' Roseanne points a finger towards herself. 'And if I'm not around, you have other things too. Stuff you're passionate about. Music, literature, art, these are just some of the ways you can both express and find yourself. Just promise me one thing...' she places her hands on your shoulders. 'If something is bothering you, no matter what it is, please tell me. Okay? I want to reach out to you as much as I can, but I can't if you don't do the same. You gotta tell me what's going on, Y/N."

She's right. Of course, she's right. Nine times out of ten she's always been the smarter one in situations like this. It always seemed to take a bit longer for you to get on the same level. You nod at her as your cheeks become wet again. "I-I want to tell you... s-so badly...' your tone wavers again and you fight to keep it calm. 'I don't know what it is...' taking a deep breath, you try to collect your thoughts. 'I constantly feel like I'm letting you down. Like, you'd be better off without me... and it... i-it wouldn't matter if... if I existed."

Roseanne's eyes widen, filling with concern. "How could you say such a thing?" She says with a tone that suggests actual pain. Running a hand through her long hair, she looks around in disbelief. "Babe, did I do something to make you feel that way? Did I — did I ignore you? Get angry too much? Do I make you feel like you can't talk to me? I—" you put your hands at her sides.

"No! No... you've been an angel, my love. Just like how you've always been." You assure her. Roseanne shakes her head and her own tears begin falling again.

"Clearly not,' she remarks. 'I-I had no idea things were this bad! I mean, I had a feeling that things were going bad mentally but never did I imagine... now you listen to me, Y/N.' Roseanne's voice threatens to break as she scolds you. 'Are you listening?"

"Y-yes..." you whisper while rubbing your stained cheeks.

"How could I _ever_ be better off without you when you're my other half? When you were the only exception in my dead love life? I fell so deeply in love with you. I wanted to become a better person because of you and nothing has changed since then. Everyday — every freaking morning when I wake up and see you, I'm reminded of how lucky I am. Of how deeply in love I am. You've been there for me through so much and I always want to be there for you too. We're a team! You can't just abandon something like that... you just can't!"

This time, you are the one to hold Roseanne as the crying racks her body over. You shush and hold your girlfriend, feeling the guilt eat away at your conscience. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean for any of this. I understand everything you're saying. Rosie, I won't abandon you. I won't let myself ever do that."

Roseanne pulls back, then trains her eyes on yours. "Promise me.' She's dead serious. 'Promise me that you would never do such a thing. _Ever_."

"I promise."

~

The thing about such promises, is that they're so easy to break. A true test of character is shown when you're right at the peak of your decision. Either you let the weight of the world crush and bury your body six feet under, or you rise and owe it to yourself to be a better human being. To the look to the future instead of the past.

All the promises in the world could never compare to your own true willpower as an individual. It is your inner strength. Your ability to stand up and wholeheartedly say, "I deserve better." Listen to that inner voice, they know what they're talking about.

You knew the answers to your reasons for happiness all along, it was the world that convinced you otherwise.

~

Sometimes, you wonder if you're in heaven when you hear her beautiful voice. The sweet melodious tone, so full of life, and this emotion packed behind it that makes you feel hers. It makes you want to laugh and cry at the same time. In other words, it makes you feel alive. And in this giant crowd of people, you realize the one thing that you all share a love for.

Roseanne stands there with her electric guitar in hand and a microphone stand projecting her voice around the entire arena. Lights shine and smoke swirls at her feet giving an ethereal vibe to her aura. Unbeknownst to her, your tears are silently falling as you let her take you to another world. A safe world; a place where no one can hurt you and one where you feel truly relaxed.

You deserve to be here in this present moment. You belong here with all these other complex yet precious souls. It was a long fight, you fought like hell to get to this point, but as you stand and watch Roseanne sing her heart out on stage, you realize that you wouldn't have it any other way.

It was worth it to stay alive.


End file.
